how a homeless man changed my life

I was sitting on a bench in a park in San Jose. It was a perfect day. The sun was out, the wind was blowing, I had my incredible squad mates laying in the field across from me. I had just reached the half way mark of my trip. I should have been happy, rejoicing that the Lord had brought me to that point. But I was not. I was upset, empty and burnt out. I didn’t know how I could continue for another three months. I thought to myself how I was supposed to continue when I was so weighed down by anxiety, doubt and frustration. I thought how was I enough? My condemning thoughts were then interrupted by a middle aged man. He had clothes covering himself from head to toe, hiding the scars and tattoos that peaked out from underneath. With the small amount of Spanish I knew at the time, I picked up that he was looking for money, food and water. Within no time at all this man who was once a stranger became someone I will never forget. After five minutes of talking with Charlie he began to tell his story to my squad leader Hannah and I. With vulnerability and detail, he told of the heart breaking things that had happened in the past couple of years to him. His story was filled with abuse, death, sickness and devastating events that left me speechless. However, throughout his entire story he would pause and tell of the never failing love the Lord had for him through it all. He talked with so much humility and honor. In all 18 years of my life I have never met someone that talked so passionately about God, or someone so passionate and attentive to all the Lord has done in their life. Charlie told us how God completely transformed his life by raising him from the dead, both physically and spiritually. This went on for hours, I wish I could put into words how the Lord used this man to spark something inside of me and completely transform my life. Charlie had so many things in his life that could have easily pushed him into a state of anger and frustration with the Lord but instead he chose to rejoice in him for all the ways he showed up. He chose joy despite all that was happening to him. Even in his lowest points he still sought after God and trusted he was with him. 

My team mate Piper said something that completely changed my perspective on the concept of joy. She said, “Joy is a heart posture, you get to wake up every day and choose joy because of the hope we have in the Lord.” Even in our weariness and suffering we can still choose to be joyful. In our lowest points we still have the hope from the Lord that sustains us. God used this man in my life to remind me of that simple truth. I am not saying pretend to be happy all the time, but rather to rejoice and put your hope in the Lord because he meets us in those moments, when we feel like we have nothing left to give, no more strength to persevere. He meets us where we are, he sees us when we feel weak. He sees you right now, just how you are, and still chooses you and loves you!! 

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”